Music Reviews


MUSIC REVIEWS
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the SRL writers' room are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of SRL Networks, its artists or its members. Anonymity allows our writers to express themselves freely without fear of persecution or harassment. This usually means things could sometimes get a little racy, raunchy, filthy, controversial, disgusting, annoying, cringe-worthy, explicit or uncomfortable but don't worry, we'll try to limit our curse words to two per paragraph and we promise not to use dirty words like poo-poo and wee-wee, or show you videos of Miley Cyrus shaking her bottom really fast. Also, the females here may say dirty things sometimes but they're totally not sluts - so don't stand too close behind them in the elevator or look at their boobies for too long, they carry pepper spray. If anything you read here offends you in any way please don't take it personally, but let us know so we can give whoever wrote it a good spanking, tickle them with a pink feather till it hurts when they smile and make them watch MTV for one whole hour.

The Indie Music Review Board brings you daily reviews of new and classic independent (indie) music albums, singles, mixtapes, music videos and compilations, similar artist suggestions, free streaming, and music download links for the ultimate music discovery experience.




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... for anyone who has never owned a CD player


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


18-04-2023 13:13 GMT


Music Reviews (April 2023) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Hip Hop artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Hip Hop performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Yung Rackz on Apple Music | Spotify


Yung Rackz

"Back In The Day"
Hip Hop




If you haven’t been here before; welcome to one of the dirtiest places on the internet right now after Porn Hub, MTV and literally any hip hop music website. But no, there is no ass eating, or calling b*tches hoes, or thong wearing, or unscrupulous flinging of dry faecal matter in the air (oops!! I mean twerking). It’s tastefully dirty, almost even classy. Kind of like Madonna, or Marilyn Monroe - but definitely not like Kim Kardashian at all, or Cardi B - yuk, yuk, yuk. 

To cut a long story short, this isn’t your regular music review website and if you're sensitive your feelings will get really hurt really fast. If you’ve never been here before you should probably leave right now, but that’s entirely up to you. Actually I think you can just head over here and read my previous article which was titled Jesus, P*ssy and Dollars and then decide if you would like to stay or not. Even my closest colleagues are still campaigning to have me removed from the SRL writers room for it. 

Okay I see you've decided to stay - ballsy, but cool. Let's do this! 

On Monday I had the weirdest, most uncomfortable meeting I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t embarrass easily but this was super awkward. I’m hoping the people involved read this so they can get a good understanding about what actually happened because no one addressed the elephant in the room even though we all couldn't stop looking at it throughout. 

Here’s what had happened. My boss has got this really annoying toddler. She strolls around in her Ferrari baby walker thingy demanding juice and barging in unexpectedly when I’m playing "Call Of Booty (wink, wink)"  with her mommy in the night (and in the mornings too sometimes). Wait, did I also tell you my girlfriend is my  boss? Yep, it’s pretty awesome. You should try it. In fact, I just got a pay rise. Anyway, the little twat has done a lot of crazy stuff in the past but nothing tops what happened on Monday morning while I was making brownies (💩). She badged into the toilet like the police telling me she had run out of juice or she needed a nappy change or something. I was so pissed off on my way out to work I locked the wheels of her stroller, knocked over her stupid Sippy cup and took her last diaper. The look on her face when I took the diaper was priceless. She immediately knew - she was totally screwed. I forgot I had it in my pocket and I took it to work. I arrived at the office in a haste and while reaching for my USB key I found it and just tossed it on the table with some other stuff that was in my pocket, thinking nothing of it. Shortly after, there was a knock on the door. It was time for my 9 o’clock meeting with some big shot editors who apparently came to discuss ways in which I could make my writing more family-friendly and less, well, less “offensive to so many people”, as they put it. I had told them to come in and sit down before noticing that there was a pink diaper with Barbie pictures all over it right on my desk beside my cup of morning whisky (oops!! I mean coffee), and there was a 12 pack of ribbed condoms right on top of it – it was in my pocket too when I reached for my USB key thingy. What can I say? I like to be prepared. 

My first thought was to immediately grab them both and toss them in a draw or under the table before starting the meeting but I did the wrong thing and hesitated to think a little bit first. And in that moment all our eyes met and we could all tell we were all wondering why the f* there was a f*cking diaper on the table with condoms, and a vibrating cock ring, and plenty lube. Oh wait, didn’t I mention those other items before? My bad. Yep, like I said before, I like to be prepared – don’t judge me, I bet you’ve got weird stuff in your pocket right now too. To cut a long story short we ended up doing the whole meeting without mentioning anything about the items on the table. They had a look on their faces like they could have really used an explanation by the end of the meeting but I didn’t know what to say so I said absolutely nothing. To be honest I really didn’t GAF but I felt like they really did so I wanted to help, I just couldn’t. When I was a newbie at SRL, eager to impress everyone, I probably would have come up with something clever or even witty to say, and it would have been amazing. But not nowadays, now that I’ve discovered it’s damn near impossible to impress anyone in the world. In fact I suspect it’s absolutely impossible. You try, and let me know how it goes. You’ll see. Do something really amazing and see how many dead faces you’re met with – everyone looks like Dua Lipa now. By the time people are nine years old nowadays they’ve seen the whole world, future technologies up to 50 years in advance, all history; they know everything about space, where to find Jesus, the best way not to get there, 50 ways to get away with sinning, how to never do homework, what your penis or vagina looks like, what it will look like 50 years from now, how to get rid of it if you don't want it, everything about sagging breasts, how to milk a cow without getting twice more aroused than you would normally get while squeezing breasts (since there are 4, not just 2), how to reach the sun without getting sunburn (by going at night obviously), how to make money without doing anything, how to get higher than you've ever been your entire life, how to drink without driving (Uber obviously), how to eat p*ssy till you burp… the list goes on. So forget about it, that’s what I’ve done and it’s working pretty well for me. My philosophy now is “if you think I’m sh*t, that’s your business – I’ll make my best poopoo every time and serve it to you with a smile”. I’m starting to suspect the only way left to impress anyone now is to literally blow yourself up live on TikTok while everyone is dancing. Surely that should get a few reactions – but no facial expressions, reverence or respect; just maybe a few mutual nods with pressed lips. I felt like I should tell you that so you know I didn’t even try while being so amazing throughout the course of this article. I can tell you’re loving it, and it gets better. 

When SRL approached me and offered me this awesome job my first reaction was: “You want ME to work for YOU? Do you really know what you’re asking? Or is this just another one of those scenarios where at the end of it all I tell myself God must be playing a trick on me again?”

I mean SRL is a pretty huge deal but I’m me, I’m not one of those guys who just wakes up early in the morning and turns up to work EVERY SINGLE DAY like I’ve got nothing else to do. To be honest with you I don’t even know why I came in today. I was f*cking, and then I decided to take a walk and have a cigarette, and then one thing led to another and I’m here now. So I thought, “what the heck, they’ve been asking me to review a song from this big ass pile of CDs and tapes, why not!”. So here it goes… 

And by the way, this is not gonna be one of those music reviews where I tell you how amazing the song is, give you all the producer and songwriter credits, tell you all the chords that were played and analyse every single one of them; and then you hit play and you f* off – I’m not a prostitute m-kay? We’re gonna discuss it, have a conversation, have a few laughs here and there, and then see where it goes from there. There isn’t gonna be any “wham bam thank you mam” sort of scenario here like all those other desperate music blogs that beg you to listen and share and then ask you to buy them a cup of coffee after. When you’re f*cking with me, you’re f*cking with the best! (“Scarface voice”) M-kay? This is more than just another music review. In fact if you make it to the end of this article I bet you your life would have changed. And then, you’ll hit the play button, and be totally blown away by the amazing record we’re about to talk about. 

I feel like I’ve given away too much already. I’ve already told you it’s amazing so many times. So now, I’m going to try to make you forget, so that it’s a mindboggling surprise when you hit the play button – like when you’re on a date with someone spectacular, and after nearly an hour of the best soul gazing, drinking, mind fucking and mental undressing you’ve ever done – you realize she was planning to come home with you THE ENTIRE TIME, AND she wasn’t even wearing any underwear...

So let’s get to forgetting now, shall we? Forgetting is a really important part of life. You'll practice it today, right here right now. Once you've learned the art of forgetting, you'll be really awesome and be able to forget anything or anyone unpleasant and focus and be your best self every single time, kind of like me but not as awesome - this here takes practise and persistence, m-kay? Baby steps..  

Have you ever looked at the McDonald’s sign upside down and wondered how no one else ever discovered it was just a pair of really perfect boobies upside down?

I know right? I guess now you know why you can’t say no every time you see the sign – regardless of whether you’re on a diet, it’s lent or even Good Friday, you’ve got high cholesterol, or whatever. You’re not after the Big Mac, you want boobies, upside down, like the ones you see when you're on holiday; everyone does. Okay that one was too easy, let’s go deeper. 

To be honest with you, I haven’t got any deeper – that’s all I’ve got. Honesty is my weakness, and it gets me every time. People say silly stuff like “just be yourself” and “we’re not here to judge anybody”, and my favourite, “the truth will set you free”, but nobody is ever impressed when I tell them how I really feel. In fact, remember what I told you I was doing before I decided to come to work? Of course you don't. See? you're already forgetting stuff, it's working – I said I was f*cking. But didn’t you even bother to ask yourself why anyone in their right mind would suddenly dismount, put their clothes back on and bow out  gracefully to take a walk? Absolutely insane wouldn’t you say? Well, let me explain.

A couple of days ago, me and my girlfriend went a little too far in a role playing scenario and had a little accident. To cut a long story short, she ended up in the emergency room and is kind of sort of partially sighted, but the doctor said it should clear up in a few days. He advised that we should try to keep our hands off each other for a while to avoid any complications but we couldn’t – she’s so amazing, and I’m sure I’m irresistible too. We were role playing again this morning. She was Mary Magdalene, and I was Jesus – trying to rid her of her seven notorious demons by severe spanking. It was so amazing. Everything was going smoothly and then she went and called out another man’s name right in the middle of it all. Her exact words were: “deeper, oh god!!!”. I said: “what??!” I was so steamed I didn't even take off the robe and sandals, I just left. People must have thought I was Kanye West when I walked into the office. It was so weird, but whatever. 

I was so steamed before I left her house that I felt like I had to make a statement before leaving. She couldn’t understand what she had done wrong so she followed me to the living room and tried to talk things out. Since she couldn’t see, and since I was overcome with so much anger, I wanted to do something that would really hurt her feelings the way she had hurt mine. So I… I... I kind of sort of, em… 

I "blew my own trumpet" and finished in her fish bowl. Then I sat on the couch and watched the fish eat it. She hadn’t got a clue what was going on but before I got up and slammed the door I heard her say “what’s that smell?”. I’m never calling that b*tch again. What kind of psycho b*tch calls out their boyfriend’s dad’s name in the middle of sex? WTF right?

So how was that? Have you forgotten what I said you were supposed to forget? You have, haven’t you? Damn I’m good!

Okay let’s go.

Now, this is one of those songs that’ll take you by surprise like an apple hitting you on the head under an apple tree on a fine sunny afternoon while you're thinking – you’ll totally not be expecting to hear anything like this but it will power up a light bulb in your head and give you ideas and make you realise what you've been missing.  Nope, you won't hear anything like this in this era of music. This strange era of music when you can have 50 million songs in your pocket and still be totally bored. Can you believe that sh*t? Spotify ruined everything! I keep telling everyone but nobody believes me. And you know how they can fix it? Just put back the f*cking “stop” button already. Certain things are there for a purpose. And just because you can remove them doesn’t mean you should – like: what if Marilyn Monroe had removed her mole? Or, what if Michael Jackson had NOT removed his big ass nose, he-he-he. To be honest, I totally loved that nose, it was perfectly fine – a little oily, but nothing a little cocaine wouldn’t take care of. Oops!! I meant powder. Let’s move on quickly. Where were we? Ah yes, the stop button.

There are certain things in life that make me know when the end of an activity has been reached. Like cumming – it lets me know when I’m done f*cking. And cigarette butts (or, err em, roaches), to let me know when I’m done smoking. And candlestick telephones to let me know when I’m done talking to people who are not there – instead of having them secretly follow me around in my pocket on Twitter and Facebook. And ignition keys so I can tell my car when I’m done driving – push start is cool too but still a little annoying, I want to take the key OUT. And disposable energiser batteries so I can figure out when my girlfriend is never gonna cum, that b*tch! F*ck recharging. I think you get the point anyway, everything needs a stop button or a finish line. So let’s start a petition now to get our musical lives back in order – we need a stop button Spotify! What do we want? Stop button. When do we want it? NOW!

Wait, where were we again?

Ah yes, you totally won’t be expecting to hear this type of song, but when you hit that play button and the sound hits you you’re gonna feel like Michael Jackson right before he grabs his crotch and slaps it really hard – “HEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" 

It’s not a pop song but it’s one of those songs that has something relatable in it for everyone. I had to go way way back in the Skunk Radio Live archives for this one and you’ll thank me for it. If you don’t know already, Yung Rackz is Winston Salem, North Carolina, USA’s next big hip hop star and he’s doing really spectacular things right now in the music industry. I wanted to take you way back in time to the song that put his name on the map – the song that made his career what it is today. 

“Back In The Day” is a hip hop record about trials and tribulations. It's reminiscent of “Juicy” by the late great Notorious B.I.G, but it’s spectacular in its own way. I like to refer to it as a "Juicy" for anyone who has never owned a CD player. It's the second of two songs on the critically acclaimed debut EP “I’m 2 Much” which was originally released back in 2012/13 but later re-released around about 2021. It’s got a very sweet nostalgic vibe and a juicy beat that will carry you away into a world of your own where everything is possible if you just keep on pushing on. It’s motivational, inspirational, lyrically masterful and impactful. To be honest with you I don’t think I’ve heard a hip hop record this good since Guru’s “You Know My Steez”. If you haven’t heard “You Know My Steez” by Guru… Em… I really don’t know what to say to you. In fact I’m tempted to tell you to go away, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you’ve heard it but you just don’t know the title or who sang it. Listen to it here. It should pop up in a new window so just close it when you’re are done and then scroll down a little bit and hit the play button in the Spotify music player below to listen to this amazing Yung Rackz record I’ve been trying to tell you about. It’s an oldie but a goodie, and if you are a hip hop music fan who knows anything about hip hop then you’ll probably know instantly that it belongs in every single one of your hip hop music playlists on Spotify, Apple Music or whatever music streaming platform you use to destroy the music industry. Oops!! I meant "discover new artists and explore your favourite genres of music". Like I said before, you won’t hear a record like this anywhere else today, so make sure you share it - let’s make it go viral. 

Wait, wait, wait… My girlfriend just texted me and said her fish had twins. WTF! I’ve got to go, this is BS. I know she’s f*cking with me. I knew she could see all this time. She’s just been making me do all her typing and make her breakfast every morning, and do her daughter's maths homework, and wash her dirty underwear by hand. Oops!! I’ve said too much. Hope you enjoy the track, see you tomorrow.

Explicit.

Jesus, p*ssy, and dollars


MUSIC


ELECTRONIC REVIEWS


13-03-2023 20:03 GMT


Music Reviews (March 2023) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Electronic artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Electronic performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, The Watermark High on |


The Watermark High

"Feel The Flow"
Electronic


Slow thy roll.

This album should slow your brain down in all the right places if used correctly. So really Feel it, and LOVE IT.

The SRL writers room has become really competitive over the past few months. Since we are no longer allowed to include our author names or pen names, writers can only stand out by their writing styles and the contexts of their writings. There are three big topics guaranteed to get the most readers online if you are a writer, or even if you make videos, songs, or anything else. This is really serious marketing stuff I’m about to tell you so pay attention and make sure you don’t tell anyone else okay? Three big subject matters that are guaranteed to get anyone’s full attention on any given day or night, no matter the circumstance. In fact if you get up in the middle of any room at any time and just scream out any of these words people will rush over to you immediately and they'll bring their check books (or start shaking their money makers spontaneously, whichever is appropriate for the environment and/or situation). The 3 big words are DOLLARS, JESUS and P*SSY. I don’t know what the right order should be so you can rearrange them yourself and write them down so you never forget okay? 

I’m sure you’re thinking “Well, why didn’t you replace the last word with the broader term SEX. That’s less explicit and should reach more people right?” No. And that’s why you’re not the marketing expert here. I am. 

And again you might be thinking “Well, why didn’t you use the word GOD instead of JESUS, after all he’s the father right? And he is more powerful and more people know him hence he should have a bigger audience right?” Wrong! Again, who's the expert, you or me? I rest my case. 

Lastly, I’m sure you’ll also be thinking to yourself “Okay surely you could have just said MONEY instead of DOLLARS right? That’s a no-brainer”. And once again you’d be absolutely wrong. Everyone loves Dollars, money is a dirty word. 

To stand out in the SRL writers room my subject matter of choice was Jesus. Everyone totally hates me. And not because I’m a goodie-goodie but rather the opposite – I’m not a role model AT ALL, I’m shite! I’m one of those people that’ll tell you odd things you’d never expect to hear coming out of a lady's mouth plainly and directly for the sheer purpose of letting you know you I don't f* around, I don't play games and IDGA-F! (In my Bishop from "Juice" voice, he-he-he). 

I was hanging out with one of my “buddies” watching Netflix the other day (wink, wink, wink) and he casually placed his wallet on the coffee table and proceeded to crack open a can of beer or white wine or whatever we were drinking - I can’t remember, it’s all a blur now. I stopped him immediately and warned him, “Don’t do that" while waving my index finger at him side to side like he was a little kid who was being naughty. He said "What?" And I replied "I'd totally steal your credit card and buy a year’s worth of tampons if you put your wallet on the table and get drunk”. He claimed it was the weirdest thing he had ever heard, but his response was even weirder. He turned his head to the side looking confused like Nicki Minaj, as if he was thinking and said “What?! … tampons??”. I said “Yes, I don’t do crack, what else would I buy? Just don't do it okay?” 

To cut a long story short he’s not my boyfriend and I’m still looking. I totally screwed up the relationship right there and everything had been going really well. But that’s just me. It’s not like I would ever take money out of anyone’s wallet but I hate people doing stupid sh*t around me. Who the f* leaves their wallet on the table in the middle of a drink session? That’s like stopping to moon the cows in the middle of a bull run and wondering what could possibly go wrong. I know, Ouch! Right? Yikes. 

So there you have it: JESUS, P*SSY and MONEY. Let’s put it in that order, it sounds so much cooler. Make sure you use one of those the next time you need to get some attention. 

I know you’re wondering why I just told you that. WTF right? And I’ll tell you why: to get your attention. Du-uh!? I’ve just presented you with 3 of the most powerful words on the internet right now on at least 3 different occasions, I KNOW I’ve got your full attention – damn I’m good. I told you I was a marketing expert didn't I? 

The reason I emphasised the fact that you can't just replace any of those 3 words with related words willy-nilly is that the most important characteristic of a good prayer is that it is specific. Stop asking Jesus to make your whole life better, that's not specific at all. What exactly do you want to change? Not when. Not How. Not why. Just what. Stop asking for more money, or some money, or enough money, or my favourite one to laugh at: to be comfortable - are you asking for a new sofa? No, you want Dollars! So say it! Say exactly how much you want in Dollars because everyone love Dollars. Pick a number, and stick with it. And don't be ashamed to ask Jesus for money, everybody's doing it - everybody needs money, it's not just you. Another key ingredient is that it is short and simple. Don't explain it, nobody cares. What's the most important prayer in the Bible? "Let There Be Light" right? Four words. Think about your prayers and examine them. You've been doing it wrong haven't you? He-he-he. Okay I'll give you one more tip and then that's it. And I'm giving you these tips simply because I've told you I'll be talking about Jesus a lot when I write and for no other reason okay? Don't assume stuff.  Don't invite me to your church or quote Bible passages to me, that'll total f* the little relationship we are cultivating here up. The last tip is: quit asking for sh*t. Demand it like it's your already. Abundance is your divine right, you want everything you want because it's yours already. Jesus didn't say "Dear God, please give us a little bit of light so we can see boobies", or whatever he wanted to see or wanted us all to see at the time, Camel Toes maybe? I honestly don't know, I'm just saying it was short. Wait, pause - did you get that? Camel Toes? Because they used a lot of Camels back then? Click here to get to the roots of that joke if you still don't understand it. It was one of the jokes that really made people start looking up to me here in the writers room instead of looking down at my big firm breastseses every chance they got - and yes, when they're this amazing they deserve double plurals, Kim Kardashian doesn't even have these. I kind of miss those days to be honest... Now where were we? Umn-hmnn, yes; Jesus didn't say, "Dear God, we can't see anything, give us a candle please". Four words and that's all it took. So there you have it. I'm assuming you are writing that down as well right? Be specific, short, and demand it! Now let's move on. 

I’m about to hit you with an album that’ll have you more excited than two gays watching the Super Bowl on Sunday. When I say "hit you with it" I’m not saying it in the Ebonics sense, like I’m about to sell you some really good weed or something. I’m totally about to smack you with it. The album comes in both digital and physical formats so you know it MUST be good. It’s not one of those things you listen to on spotify that gets buried by 50 million songs an hour later never to be seen or heard again, in fact I hate that it’s on Spotify at all. When you hear it, you will hate that too – in fact, let’s start a petition in the comments section. I hate when an album is this good, to be honest. It makes me look bad if I don’t do it justice when I introduce it. You don’t understand. This album is hotter than bad breath, but in a good way. Okay no, scratch that. See? I'm getting it wrong already. Let’s just talk about it first and then we’ll get back to how hot it is later. 

Released on the 10th of March, 2023, just over 3 days ago, “Feel The Flow” is a very short buy highly impactful and masterful EP by critically acclaimed electronic music producer, composer and music educator, The Watermark High, who has also released music under the name Kinoh from time to time in order to explore a different creative direction from what his fans are used to. Whether you are listening to Kinoh or The Watermark High, what you can expect is always the same: that by the end of it you would have had your mind boggled and your socks will be missing. If you like soothing sounds you are in the right place and I’m glad you are here because I love soothing sounds too. I’m so excited you’re here, you’ve got me tingling all over. Let’s hit the play button together and see where it goes. If you feel like we’re having a moment, kiss me. I’ll kiss back I promise. Have you hit the play button? Can you feel that? Nice isn’t it?

For anyone who is already accustomed with the sound of The Watermark High, this is a little different. It’s much more Hip Hop than electronic music but it's still a very healthy mix of the two. Don’t let the first song “Traveller” deceive you into believing you’re in for one of those musical journeys where the mood and tempo is the same all the way though, or else by the time you reach the fourth track you’ll feel like an unsuspecting teenage girl who decided to sit on top of the washing machine to chat while uncle was washing his delicates. You’ll open your eyes really wide suddenly at the climax (wider than Nicki Minaj when she looks like she's pooped by mistake while eating a banana really slowly), and you’ll never be the same again. Don’t judge me okay? I was like13 for God's sake, how was I to know? This brings back a lot of awkward memories ("sob"), in fact I think you should leave now. Just go, now, please. And as for that kiss, forget about it, the mood is totally gone now, I can't believe you made me remember that. "Sob, sob, sob, sob, sob"

Enjoy the album. 

See you tomorrow. 

Oh and did I mention? It may also make you get extremely emotional. 

I Can't Stop


MUSIC


SOUL REVIEWS


07-03-2023 13:38 GMT


Music Reviews (March 2023) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Soul artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Soul performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie singer songwriter, Mike Hargreaves on Spotify | Bandcamp


Mike Hargreaves

"I Can't Stop"
Soul


Made my day.

How many times do I have to unfollow Kanye West and hide all his posts from my Twitter timeline before Elon Musk realises IDGAF when he’s trending? Waking up to Kanye AND Kim news in my timeline this morning was like receiving two unsolicited dick picks, so annoying – enough already. Everything was so calm. I thought the world was going back to normal, then this again. ("Sigh!!")

But let’s not waste any good time ranting about what can only be another rant – I didn’t click to find out, so forgive me if I’m wrong. And forgive me if you love Ye. Let’s move on quickly. 

Was Phoebe Buffay’s song “Smelly Cat” really about a cat? What do you think? It seemed much deeper than that to me, to be honest. And it has stuck with me till this day, several years after I first heard it. It’s so catchy and moving, but sadly today I got a hunch that ruined it for me quicker than a Kanye West sample. Just kidding, I’m sure he’s still an awesome producer but I’m just not into samples, I prefer original stuff from scratch. I don’t think it was about a cat at all. I think, being from the streets and all, she might have known someone who needed a douche really bad and couldn’t have one. Now I don’t like the song anymore but it's ringing in my head even more. I saw a homeless woman today. I started to smell something really funky as she walked towards me and immediately stopped myself midbreath and took off running at high speed in the other direction in my work shoes. I totally wasn’t ready for it. I hope she wasn't offended. Do you think God will forgive me? 

I really want to get into this song as much as you do but I’m stalling to find a good angle to approach it from. I’m like a hunter right now, sneaking up on my prey (the awesome music review), crouching in the bushes with my pen waiting for the right time to pounce on the metaphorical paper. Okay that’s a lie, to be honest with you I haven’t been to the office for a long time and I’m a little rusty. I took a few weeks off ‘cos I thought I was coming down with writer’s block – I wasn’t. I’ve never had that. 

Can I stall a little more? Please, please, please, please; pleeeease???

Thanks, here it goes. Did you know that the percentage of people who carry weird or questionable stuff in their pockets on a daily basis is significantly more than those who don’t? What’s in your pocket right now? Lemme see. See? You didn’t even want to tell without pausing to think first. Now, turn to the person right next to you (someone you know obviously, not a stranger – they may get the wrong idea). Now ask them and see how defensive or even embarrassed they get. Told you. Wanna know what I’ve got in my chest pocket right now? Nope that’s not a pencil, I’m just really excited you’re here. Do forgive. Just kidding he-he-he. Seriously, would you like to know? It’s a little weird but there’s a really long explanation for having it. Okay I’ll tell you, you’re so persuasive. It’s a cheque for 1 million pounds sterling. But that’s not the weird part. I wrote it out to myself a few months ago when my career started taking off in anticipation of what I demanded should be my new salary and what I in fact believe the universe now owes me. I didn’t date it and the scribblings in the signature line spell “smelly cat, smelly cat” if you can decipher it. But that’s not the weird part either. I don’t even have a penny in that account, I’ve never used it. And again, that’s not the weird part either. On the 1st of every month I go to the same bank and try to cash it. The scenario plays out exactly the same every time. The cashier looks down at the check and then immediately looks back at me with a reverse eyebrow raise, half a smile and a very indifferent facial expression that's just as furious as it is puzzled. I keep a straight face. I act shocked when the cashier tells me there’s not enough money in the account, and then make a huge scene about my salary not arriving on time before storming out. That’s not the weird part. The weird part is that no one has ever asked why I’m paying a check from the same account into the same account, or ever even acknowledged the fact. If they did, they would realise that the cheque is perfectly valid and will clear perfectly every single time leaving the balance exactly where it started. “Balance” is the keyword here – that’s why I do it. No matter what’s going on in my life or my career at the time, that seemingly weird balancing act puts everything in perspective for me and I walk out of the bank feeling renewed and ready to take on the world again one more time with a big smile from having just been handed a cheque for a million bucks, the exact amount I demanded. So there you have it. What’s your balancing act? What brings you back to centre? What puts the smile back on your face? Write in the comments section, and don’t say weed or new booty.

Okay I think we’re ready for the music review now. I’ve pounced on the metaphorical paper I was hunting earlier on.

I feel like I must remind you that this is not one of those self-righteous blogs, music review sites or magazines that reviews both good and bad songs. Why would anyone waste a perfectly good second ranting about something subjective and personal that they don't or didn’t like? That would be totally abstruse wouldn’t it? That remind you of anyone? Ey? Let’s move on, quick.. Music is subjective, and art as a whole is subjective too. Every song hits everyone differently. Everyone has different sweet spots. The intensity of the emotional response is what I look for in a song before I even think about talking about it. To be honest with you, my bar for good music is set so high that people can’t even see it – many don’t even know it’s there. To give you an idea - if you are a soul music or R&B music artist or band and you send in a song, it’d better be the best thing since the Isley Brothers’ performance of “Who’s That Lady” on Soul Train in 1973. They did it many times apparently – I wasn’t born then so I don’t know which exact performance it was, but you can [watch the video here]. It cuts out the exciting introduction by Don Cornelius and the band members introducing themselves at the beginning but I couldn’t find a better one on the whole of YouTube, I totally couldn’t believe it – I’ve NEVER not been able to find ANYTHING on YouTube, except when it’s really important, ("Sigh!!"). Darn social media and all this streaming stuff, to be honest I’m getting sick of it. I want my music player’s STOP button and my small book of telephone numbers back; so that the universe can tell when I’m done listening to music, and when I’m done socializing. And no, the actual finished recording of the song will simply not suffice - the live performance of the record on Soul Train is what I'm talking about. If you haven't already done so, watch it – it could change your life. The first time I heard that song I listened to it about 10 times in a row and then I passed out. When I woke up in the morning I was in love with somebody, but I didn’t know who – I was tingling all over and I had butterflies in my stomach and everything.  Yep, you guessed right. I’d been doing all the exciting things you suspect I’d been doing prior – I’d been drinking, smoking, and I had just got done f*cking; in exactly that order. Any adult knows it’s nearly impossible to hold a person’s attention after that succession of events, but I was about to turn off the TV and there they were. I was mesmerised, and till this day I haven’t heard a better song. Let’s get into this review, you’re totally ready – you know it’s gonna be awesome, I’ve just told you why. I hope this song totally doesn’t set your fire alarms off, ‘cos it’s HOT!! Stop everything you’re doing right now and let’s par-tay! Woo-hoo!! If nothing else does, this warm, soothing record will surely put a gentle smile on your face every single time. It’s refreshing, it’s exciting, it’s organic, and it feels like a fresh start. One of those records that will easily bring you back to your centre when you need it most, even when you didn't realize you were not centred at all. The music industry has strayed and continues to stray from organic sounds like the ones you’ll find here, so cherish this record like it’s your last bag of weed on a Friday night (Oops!! I mean your last slice of pizza). Sweet and soulful with a gentle groove; lyrically sound, exquisite vocal performance, what more could you ask for as a music fan? Good lord, this is amazing! 

Hit the play button and share it with everyone you know. Released on the 10th of February, 2023, the song is available to stream and download on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple Music and all popular digital music streaming and download platforms. 

Have a pleasant day. See you tomorrow.
          

Music Review: The B Side by Daiyon - Hip Hop - Wisconsin, USA | Music Discovery XO


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


30-08-2022 18:47 GMT


Music Reviews (August 2022) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Hip Hop artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Hip Hop performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Daiyon on YouTube |


Daiyon

"The B Side"
Hip Hop


🤯 God must be playing a trick on me!!! 😕

You can always tell when people look in the mirror way too much, and that they love what they see every single time - in a really weird, vain, almost unnatural way. Like they think to themselves: “good god, my eyes are dazzling AF; or “damn I’ve got such an amazing smile, who wouldn’t love me?”; or “you think my cheeks are rosy, wait till you see my other cheeks; and be sure to plant your lips on them at least once while you are back there will ya?”; or “man I look like Jesus, I’m even a pretty decent guy who likes hookers too. I too even wear dirty women’s night gowns to night clubs sometimes like Kanye West – man I’m so cool”; or “I wonder if they notice how much I look like a new and improved Marilyn Monroe”; or “man! I look so mysterious and deep, good god I’m handsome”; or “look at my smile, so soft and gentle; love me, love me, love me, please”. I’m sure you are thinking to yourself, those seemed awfully specific right? And you’re totally right. Now try not to label me a total asshole when I tell you who those people are, and bear in mind that those things that were written were just the products of a comedic mind casually strutting its stuff to see if it’s still got it – it does by the way, if I may say so myself. And bear in mind, I don’t think it’s bad to look in the mirror, in fact it’s really good for you. I however try to do it only twice a day – once in the morning when I wake up and again at night right before I turn on the red light in the master bedroom and things get, err, a little too freaky to discuss here (wink, wink). Let’s talk about it on Twitter before Jeff Bezos pulls out 😊 – did you get that? Pulls out? He-he-he. If you ask me, I think the deal was the equivalent of a sizable object in an unsuspecting butt hole, but what do I know about business and finance, and who cares what I think, right? And by the way I plant a big wet kiss on my lips every time I look in the mirror, I don't just do it for fun or to see if I'm still hot 😀. 

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, those statements that I came up with; to describe 7 different individuals who, for comedy’s sake I assumed look in the mirror too often, and more than 5 times a day in fact – I’m not saying they do and I don't know these guys personally, let’s just have fun with it okay? I read an article on Music Week a while back and the headline was “Universal Music Australia unveils senior execs as John O’Donnell confirms retirement”. I’m sure you can easily highlight the headline and find the article on Google, but to make things easier for you I’ve added a link to the title that opens in a new window, again for your convenience, ‘cos you are so special. I wouldn’t even fart while writing this if I had to, in order not to cause your awesome vibes to shift even the slightest bit in any direction whatsoever, whether you like smelling peoples’ farts or not (I’m sure you don’t obviously, you’re not weird at all) - that’s how awesome I think you are. Can you match any of those faces to any of the statements I mentioned above? Who do you think has the really big, rosy cheeks and wants you to plant your lips on them? He-he-he. Tweet me on Twitter (@skunkradiolive) and I might tell you which one belongs to which one so you can have one of those tinnie winnie wins that are all the makings of a really good day. 

Anyway, let’s get right down to this song. I'm totally certain that you’d really want to plant your lips on it when it’s done playing. But don’t kiss your phone screen, it’s full of germs. Wipe it with an antibacterial wipe first and then once again after like they do in church when they kiss the crucifix on Good Friday; then get your friend to kiss it too. By the way, if you were Catholic, what part of the cross would you kiss? 🤔. Again, you can tweet me @SkunkRadioLive.

This is one of those records that gives ten times as much as it takes from you in minutes and seconds. In fact it even saves you time by telling you exactly what song to play next or add next to your playlist – it. Yep, this is another one of those songs that has no chaser, anything that comes after it will be shite! as far as you’re concerned. To be honest, I’ve got it on repeat now and I really don’t know where to go from here, except to stop the music player. But wait YouTube has no stop button, and neither does Spotify. Aaaarghhh!!!! I’m totally losing it now?! 

Wait… (“deep breaths, deep breaths”).

Okay I’m good now. (“Phew”).

See? That’s what this song will totally do to you. Consider that your first warning. The second warning I’ll give you is that the instant you hit the play button, YouTube will totally change it’s attitude towards you and create a new mental picture of you, a new improved one. Kind of like moving someone from one of the boxes in your head where you put people based on their character traits, behaviours, what they smoke, how ambitious they are, how serious they are, how hot (or not) they are, how big their willies (oops!! wallets are or could potentially be), or other criteria. Wait, am I the only one who does that? Is that wrong? I hate that I just told you that. Sh!! Don’t tell anyone okay? Would you like to know what box you are in inside my head right now? Of course you do – you are in the "Box 47". Trust me that’s the coolest box, it means I totally don't hate you and we could be friends some day. But don't ever try to kiss me okay? I totally hate that. 

But back to the song… my only advise for you as you make this journey to becoming a seasoned, highly sophisticated, professional hip hop fan is buckle up. If you smoke, roll one of those giant ones Snoop and Eminem shared at the VMAs 😊, but make sure you don’t finish it all in one go. Alright, hit the play button. 

Have a wonderful day. ✌

Explicit.


... forgave Spotify for all the songs it played me that I didn't like today


MUSIC


SOUL REVIEWS


06-08-2022 02:30 GMT


Music Reviews (August 2022) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Soul artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Soul performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Mike Hargreaves on Spotify | Apple Music


Mike Hargreaves

"Until it Happens to You"
Soul


Good vibes so pure I almost wee-weed in my office chair ("sigh!"). I'm so happy. In fact I even totally forgave Spotify for all the songs it played me that I didn't like today. There were so many, as usual ("hiss!").

The good old phrase “I need a hand” seems to have taken on a whole new meaning in this sex crazy, deranged world we live in today. Did you know that? I had to find out the hard way. I rushed into my new intern colleague’s office early this morning before anyone else had come in and said it – “quick, I need a hand”. After a little blushing and a cheeky seductive smile, my eyes were met with something I was totally not expecting to see on a weekday morning and hands reaching towards somewhere I would normally not expect them to be going, again not on a weekday morning, in fact not on any morning in the office at all. The words “quick, before anyone else comes in” followed in gentle whispers that sent chills all over my body. Where my old teenage fantasies finally coming true? Years after I had given up trying to make them happen and buckled down to get my life together and be somebody? Was I ready? Was it right? Would we get caught? What if we did? Would the fantasies go a step further? So that whoever caught us joined in and instead of “blowing the whistle” blew on something else? To cut a long story short, I quickly snapped out of it and nothing happened. I shook my head and walked out in disgust, with anger and regret fighting every part of my body that was still tingling and I knew would tingle all day long. I didn’t tell anybody, except you. Don’t tell anybody okay? 

Now back to this sizzling hot record. The track was released back in 2020, but with all the stuff that’s been going on in the world, like most things it didn’t get the full attention it deserved because most of us were distracted, you know, with Covid, and bills and stuff. 

To be honest with you, I hate that I love this so much. Kind of like people who are so nice all the damn time. You know those ones who allow others to go before them all the time? The ones that, even if they needed to make poopoo urgently and were crowning, would still offer to let someone else go in the toilet stall before them? Arghh!! 

Have you noticed that people like that are becoming rarer and rarer? Like kids who used to toilet paper people’s front yards, you don’t see that at all of late – heck no, toilet paper gained a new respect from human kind during the pandemic, and it looks like things are going to stay that way for a very long time, ("sigh!!").  But we’re straying slightly, let’s come back to the song. I’ve got it playing right now and that’s what it'll do to you. You know those songs that just play away and fade into the background before burying themselves in the subconscious part of your mind and doing amazing things to you that you may not even realise they are doing till the song is over and you realise you've shared way too much information with a total stranger? Well, this is one of them. To be honest with you again, if this song doesn’t brighten up your day you’re really screwed – I hate to be that honest but sometimes it’s the only way to go. The minute you hit the play button you’ll know what’s about to happen to you and you will instantly do one of two things. You’ll either quickly hit the stop button, or rather the pause button (have you noticed thanks to Spotify the stop button has been completely abolished? When last did you see one? We’ll talk about how steamed we are about that later, darn Spotify, ruining everything). Or the second thing you may do is you’ll put everything down and just let go and let it do its thing. Which one did you think I did? I did the first one. I knew exactly what the song was about to do to me and I knew I wasn’t ready. I was elbow deep in some serious work with my hands metaphorically firmly gripping the horns of a really wild bull moments before flipping it over and making a stake out of it - yep, I take my work pretty seriously. To cut a long story short I successfully completed the task and I knew exactly what song to play as I sat back in my office chair arrogantly contemplating how much of a raise to demand next time I see the HR guy 😊. Now I can’t get the darn song to stop playing in my head every time I get my wallet out to pay for something – now that I think about it, it’s kind of like one of those infectious, really bright and colourful Bruno Mars type records, but better. 

Think about it


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


11-07-2022 17:01 GMT




As featured on this week's
Music Discovery XO Auditions
Voting is still open
[Vote Here]





CashBoy Ballin

"Think About It"
Hip Hop


What's on your mind?

This week on the Music Discovery XO Auditions we had the opportunity to explore the compact yet ever so rewarding repertoire of emerging Florida, US rapper CashBoy Ballin who has his mind set on becoming his city’s next big rap star. "Think About It" stood out for a couple of good reasons. We'll discuss them below. 

The concept of this song evokes a very exciting vibe and feel. The production could have been a lot better so I listened to it more like a demo than a finished record; but all in all it is a pretty good song that would make a great addition to any motivational hip hop music playlist

As in the old saying: “Thinking is Believing”. Or wait, that’s not how it goes at all, I think I just made that up 😁. It should be something like: “You are What You Think” – ah yes, that’s the one I was thinking of. Just as in the saying, first made famous by the highly respected American radio speaker and author, Earl Nightingale who spent most of his career exploring the subjects of human character development, the song leads back to a secret (or not so secret) philosophy that has been secretly (or not so secretly) taught to successful people for centuries now. If you’ve never heard it before, you probably should do more Googling (oops!! Err, reading I mean). To be honest you don’t really need to do much reading to understand the saying but if you want to you can read “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale while listening to this song and see where it takes you. Much like suggested by the intelligent lyrics of this cleverly written record, the saying simply means that if you think very specific, meaningful thoughts over and over, and visualize them to the point where you believe they are already real, while simultaneously visualizing your new life with the product of your thoughts in existence and how this new addition to your life has changed your old life, et cetera, et cetera; whatever it is you are thinking MUST eventually become real. No, it’s not magic – it just is what it is. Nobody knows why, or who figured it out; that’s just the way the mind works. So what have you been thinking about today ey? Good things I hope. If you were thinking bad things, I hope they were only about sex (wink, wink), those are the only bad thoughts allowed in this philosophy - yes, spanking is fine too, don't worry 😁. In fact, I too like to think about spanking Ariana Grande, while listening to "Touch It" and eating a bread stick arrogantly, like a pompous, really stern headmaster who takes everything too seriously. I honestly believe I can make it real, but don't tell anybody. Have I said too much? Let's move on...

Hit the play button and visualize your dreams, and then hit the “VOTE” button to show your support and appreciation for Miami’s next big rapper. And don't forget to think about something amazing you would like to happen today or in the future and make it a habit to think about good things you like regularly. Congratulations, you’ve learned something new today. Make sure you do it again tomorrow, and never go a day without exploring or learning something or somewhere new. Come back here if you don’t know where to go, we're avid explorers.

Have you hit that play button yet? What do you think? Tweet @skunkradiolive and let’s talk about it. 

Explicit.


Invincible


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


06-04-2022 04:12 GMT


Music Reviews (April 2022) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Hip Hop artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Hip Hop performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Chingy on Apple Music | Spotify


Chingy

"Invincible"
Hip Hop


Positive vibes

… so two guys walk into a bar, right? One of them says to the other, “I’m not wearing anything under this trench coat”, with a big smile on his face as if expecting some sort of approval or praise. The other guy walks out of the bar with a straight face and doesn’t look back.

That’s it. 

You were expecting a punchline weren’t you? He-he-he. There’s none. 

Here at the SRL writers room we quite enjoy painfully unfunny jokes - it's an acquired taste, don't worry, you're not there yet. You’ll read a lot of them here, they’re hilarious 😊. They always come with a subtle message though, and some food for thought. So don’t worry, this is not one of those places that you can guarantee would be an utter waste of your time every single time. Sure, you’ll always leave with an AMAZING track to bring your awful, braindead Spotify playlists to life, but we want our readers to leave with more than just amazing songs and albums - we want to add value to their lives as well. That’s not to say we succeed, but we try – and trying is everything. As the old Snoop Dogg saying goes, “Ain’t nothing to it but to do it”, or something like that. In other words, whatever you want to do, no matter how farfetched it may seem, just do it - and that’s exactly what we do. The moral of that very unfunny story was that if you are uncomfortable with anything at all you shouldn’t be afraid to get up and leave IMMEDIATELY. Your mind and body are telling you something whenever you start to feel uncomfortable about a situation. They’re telling you that you either don’t agree with what’s happening or that what’s about to happen is too unpredictable for comfort. With that being said, I’d like to gently remind you that things could get uncomfortable really fast here at the Skunk Radio Live writers room. We don’t hold back anything but we generally mean no harm when we write. We don’t like politics and we don’t discuss it. In fact, throughout the time he was president of the United States, we only referred to him as Ronald Plump, you know who we’re talking about right? And nowadays if we ever talk about the recent conflicts in Europe, we might use words like Lootin’ or Poopin’, or whatever rhymes at the time – again, we mean no harm, just trying to avoid talking about politics and calling politicians' names. Not saying anyone is looting or is acting like a poopoo head.

Gladly, this song is not about politics, it makes no attempt to label anyone a poopoo head and it’s most certainly not about ill-gotten gains – like most mainstream hip hop records tend to be nowadays right?

St. Louis rapper Chingy is slowly but surely clawing his way back to the top after falling from grace and staying out of the limelight for a while a few years back. Each of his new records shows immense growth and development stylistically and artistically as he takes his signature nursery rhyme rap style and rebuilds it from the ground up, keeping all the amazing things fans fell in love with about the multiplatinum, award-winning hip hop star, who has sold over 20 million hard copies worldwide, something most new artists today will sadly never be able to claim they did ever again in the history of the music industry – and no, not even Kanye West. At $200 a piece, 20 million seems very farfetched to even think of, and the whole "Donda 2" (or whatever it's called) move in general seems like a billionaire’s desperate attempt to stay afloat in the middle of a pandemic and a global financial crisis. But what do we know, we’re not accountants and plus, it took many of us here years of brain fatigue from listening to the relentless ads of Spotify’s free service before finally giving up and signing up for PRO. It wasn’t about the money, it was about the principle. Spotify’s business model devalued the music industry and made every existing song and every song that will be created in perpetuity a worthless piece of you know what, essentially. Nowadays, a song is no longer what makes money for the musicians that spent countless hours, days, months and even years making them. It’s what is done with the records and the publicity that results that makes the money. So it’s no surprise a lot of music sucks these days, morale is low in the industry and musicians are spending a lot more time trying to figure out how to make a living in the industry than how to make a good record – who can blame them right?

But anyway, where were we? Ah yes, Chingy’s amazing new record, which has, not only got fans and critics raving again; but is also doing well to raise the morale of die-hard rap fans whose souls are dying really slowly from records where all the praise should really go to the producers rather than the artists. Yes, a good hip hop beat will blow your socks off quicker wasabi, but no one wants to hear what is increasingly seeming like the same lyrics of the last song they heard re-arranged into a different order and performed in a different style and tempo. 

This song is different. Chingy is from the old school era of music when artistic integrity and lyrical prowess mattered whether you were making hip hop, rock or even electronica; and consequently, the track reeks of the results of hours of writing and re-writing, and several takes of vocal recording; not like new records that sound like they were done in one take most of the time. If you strip a hip hop record of all the guns and violence, take away all the showering of champagnes and other yellowish liquids on girls at pool parties; and all the fingers and other things out of the poor ladies' butt holes; and all the mindless but ever so exciting stuff rappers are polluting our minds with, but we apparently love so much as far as the music industry is concerned; this is what you get – positive rap music about love, good vibes, family, friends and being amazing just being ones self. Phew! finally, something positive right? 

Enjoy! 

Thank me later with a big ass box of chocolates and some beef jerky, it’s almost 4:20 AM 😊. 

JK, chocolates are so gay. 

Explicit.

When did men start slapping each other like b*tches?


MUSIC


HIP HOP REVIEWS


30-03-2022 02:56 GMT


Music Reviews (March 2022) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Hip Hop artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Hip Hop performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Six9 on YouTube | Spotify


Six9

"Bounce Back"
Hip Hop


I still can't believe my ears

When did men start slapping each other like b*tches? When I saw Will Smith slap Chris Rock at the Oscars the other day over a little joke I was totally disgusted. And not for the silly reasons that are splattered all over social media and even the mainstream media, but for 2 simple reasons. 

I’m generally not excited or even the slightest bit moved when celebrities do stuff normal people like us don’t understand because I’m too busy doing other stuff that is a lot more important to me. Who cares what the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did at the Oscars? I don't know what it's like to be a prince, or to live in Bel-Air. I wasn’t even invited, those bastards! He-he-he. JK. If I was invited I probably wouldn’t even have showed up. Too busy to sit around celebrating myself, or even worse, other peoples’ achievements in the middle of a pandemic and a looming global recession; AND gathering items for my emergency evacuation bag for when Lootin' (you know who I mean) unleashes those nuclear weapons he's been quietly dropping hints about. Is that weird? Do I sound like a hater right now? I know you nodded. Well KMA then. JK of course. My point there was that when what people say or think about you somehow manages to get to you, you’ll find yourself doing stupid sh*t like hitting people like a b*tch on live television – men don’t slap each other when they get pissed off, they throw a Mike Tyson punch and make sure you never get up. I mean, if I was going to walk out in front of all my peers and hit someone on international television in front of the whole world, my wife AND my kids, I’d want the whole show to stop; not go on like nothing happened. That was the most pathetic slap I’ve ever seen, SMH. And he wonders why reporters try to kiss him, he-he-he - maybe it’s because they are hoping he’ll rub his palm softly against their cheeks and walk off like he really did something, LOL. The only other thing I’ll say about this matter is a very touchy subject and I probably shouldn’t say it but I was hurt to see a 53 year old man assault a 57 year old man while he was just doing his job, that sh*t just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m not saying Will was wrong for getting mad, we all get mad and we all have a right to do so, whether people understand why or not. Just the other day my blood boiled violently when a waiter called me by my name at a dinner reservation. And why, you may ask? BECASUE I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL MY NAME OKAY?!! What’s with the third-degree damn it? See, I even almost got pissed off there, phew! 

("Deep breaths") ...

During these unprecedented times, everyone’s a little touchy but nevertheless everyone is entitled to their moments. How they handle those moments is what makes them unique. The thing I was really scratching my head about, and this is not an insult; is that rapper August Alsina “dated” the hell out of Jane (oops! Jada 😀) for four and a half whole years with Will’s knowledge and he was totally fine with that, but he couldn’t take a little joke? And you know how rappers “date” women, rappers are ruff! (oops! rough). You give your wife to one of these new rappers for one night she'll never be the same again - inside and outside, not to talk of four years, phew! That’s what really had me messed up, I don’t care if he got mad and if he was still allowed to receive an award and then was subsequently given a standing ovulation; that's Hollywood stuff. See what I did there? "A standing ovulation" - because he hits like a b*tch, get it? I’ve said all I have to say about that. I wasn’t even going to say anything about it but everyone’s talking about it so whatever. 

Now that that crap is out of the way, let’s get right down to this song that I was about to tell you about. To be honest with you the reason I brought up the subject of Will slapping Chris was that the whole incident seemed so unmanly to me (almost "happy" if you know what I mean); kind of like what a lot of mainstream hip hop records are starting to sound to me nowadays. Everyone’s grinning and singing songs about eating each others' asses. I’m old school, I totally don’t understand it. This song restored some normality to my music collection and my life as a whole. To be honest with you I was supposed to have reviewed it years ago but I was being very selfish 😁. Have you ever discovered something so amazing you didn’t want anyone else to have it? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me here. And when you hear it you’d probably not want to share it with anyone else either. 

The track was so good that it deserved a playlist of its own. I put it on repeat and didn’t listen to anything else while I tried to think of an artist or a song that I could chase it with without losing the amazing feeling it evoked in my soul. The only track I found that could chase it was another track by the same artist Six9. No, not the snitch Six9ine with the colorful teeth and multicolored hair, the real Six9 – and there you were thinking you knew everything there was to know in hip hop, SMH. I’m being selfish with that track that I chased it with as well but I might share it with you a little bit later. I'll also share the playlist I'm creating around it once it's done. 

”Bounce Back” is a motivational record. If you have fallen on hard times and are struggling to get back up, it will get you off your ass and keep you on your feet till you are back in the game and at your best once again. If you are already at your best, it will motivate you to keep pushing the limits harder and harder everyday till your Jesus piece drops its jaw. Forget about every motivational hip hop track you’ve heard over the past decade, they’re all trash – that’s all I’m saying. If I’m wrong, recreate one of the millions of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock memes that are probably surfacing by the second on TikTok as we speak; and walk up to my office at London Bridge and slap me ever so softly. I’ll play along and make a little joke about it then go back to doing my work like nothing happened 😂. 

Oh I forgot to tell you – the minute you hit the play button the lyrics of this record could become deeply embedded in your brain for days, if not weeks. That's what happened to me. I almost lost it, but then I found my Jack Daniel's, phew! I’m still totally sedated right now, can you tell? 

Explicit.

For sinners


MUSIC


ALTERNATIVE ROCK REVIEWS


24-03-2022 02:31 GMT


Music Reviews (March 2022) - Discover the best emerging, underground & upcoming Alternative Rock artists, bands & labels with reviews of the latest songs, albums & mixtapes, music videos, music playlists, live events/gigs, concerts/tours, & other entertainment from your favorite indie Alternative Rock performers & entertainers daily on SRL Music Reviews.
Music by indie artist, Elliott Waits For No One on Apple Music | Spotify


Elliott Waits For No One

"Original Sin"
Alternative Rock



Did anyone else in the world find it strange or at least too much of a coincidence that Obama killed Osama? And not only that the names were so similar but that the very letters that made their names different were B and S? Was it all BS? Did they know each other? Was Obama Osama? Is anything even real? No one knows anything anymore. 

Is it weird that the world is round and yet people on the underside of the planet don't have all the blood in their bodies rushing to their brains because they are essentially upside down? And how come everything in their houses are not on the ceiling? And don’t say because of gravity, that’s totally insane. Can anyone even get an erection under those conditions? Or could that be where the abstruse idea of soft dildos came from? I mean who says to themselves day and night that, and I quote, “a hard man is so good to find”, and then goes out and buys a soft dildo? Only someone from a land of soft willies, wouldn’t you say? And wait, if those people are upside down, shouldn’t their clocks be going backwards? You know, like in a mirror? 

If sex, money, drugs and everything that’s amazing is on God’s list of don’ts, doesn’t it mean most humans, contrary to what they say, would rather go to Hell? I mean think about it – everybody sober-facing each other day and night in Heaven, no cursing - even if you stub your small toe, no new booty (will we even be allowed to have sex?), no getting high, no binging on potato chips, drinking only enough wine to be almost tipsy, eating bread and fish every day; and last but not least but worst of all – if Hell is hot and Heaven is the opposite of Hell, does that mean it’s winter in Heaven all year round? "Aww, Hell no!!", I hear you say, and rightfully so.  Which leads to the main question that has really been bugging me lately - did Eve have an apple bottom? Is that why we are all stuck here in this crazy mess? Because Adam was a filthy, filthy boy and ate the booty? Think about it. Adam’s snake, the apple, the eating, everyone was naked – seems like a recipe for sexy time if you ask me. 

“So why all these crazy thoughts, and where is this all going?”, I hear you think to yourself. Well, I was just listening to this really cool track that opened up my mind quicker than a bag of super skunk (not that I’ve smoked it before, that’s just what I've heard, “wink, wink”). I didn’t want you to get into it thinking it was great so I decided to just take you to a special place in your mind first, and I can tell you are there now. Don’t ask how I know, I just know. I can also tell you have a really big bush. Just kidding. But it kind of sort of feels like you do now that I think about it (he-he-he). Don’t worry, let that be our little secret - no one’s judging you here. But it's 2022 for God’s sake! If you do have one, get rid of it immediately and don’t do it again. 

Okay so let’s get into this song, you’re definitely ready. “Original Sin” sits in position number 5 of Chicago alternative rock trio Elliott Waits For No One’s critically acclaimed self-titled summer 2020 album “Elliott Waits For No One”. Having excelled individually on their respective local music scenes for several years before forming the group, it was an album that brought a lot of big sounds together and merged them so skillfully that it was hard for it not to be a masterpiece. It took critics and fans alike aback and many of the tracks on the independently released record are still winning awards till today, over 2 years after its release. “Original Sin” initially stood out to me because of the title but when I finally got to listen to it I was hooked. It's mellow, melancholic and just almost pensive. It burns really slow and it’s almost as if it takes your hand and walks you to a serene place where you just want nothing more than to be. That’s all I’m saying about it. Saying anymore about it would be like trying to explain why a McDonald’s Big Mac is one of the best burgers you’ll ever eat on earth – no one really knows why, it’s just amazing. 

And remember this: just because something’s right there in front of you doesn’t mean it’s there for you. Don’t worry, you’ll know what to do with that information when the time is right. If you don’t and it keeps you up all night, write me a letter and I’ll be sure to write you back. 

That's all for now. 

Hugs and kisses, 
 Me Who 
(I’m not Chinese, don't ask 😊)